More tough times in North Korea

by Mouser The King Cat

The news from North Korea is never good, particularly for college students who feel entitled to steal things. Now comes this dispatch from Fox News:

Portly North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, whose hostile actions have brought crippling international sanctions to his impoverished nation, has a new message for the Hermit Kingdom's starving masses: Get ready to eat plant roots.

Kim, whose weight the South Korean government estimates has ballooned to nearly 300 pounds, signaled through state media that the nation could be headed for another famine like the one that killed an estimated 3.5 million people in the 1990s.

"The road to revolution is long and arduous," an editorial in the state-run Rodong Sinmun newspaper said Monday, according to The Telegraph. "We may have to go on an arduous march, during which we will have to chew the roots of plants once again."

"Arduous march" in North Korean is code for famine. It's how state media described the disaster that struck when Kim was a mere teen, which experts say was brought on by the economic mismanagement of his father, Kim Jong Il, loss of foreign aid and natural disasters.

But Kim, who at 33 walks with a cane and reportedly suffers from gout, won't miss any meals. Last September, South Korea disclosed that Kim appeared to have added nearly 70 pounds to his 5-foot, 9-inch frame over the previous five years, reaching an estimated weight of 290 pounds.

I suggest the international saber-rattling about nuclear weapons be settled in the sumo wrestling ring: Kim Jong Un against Chris Christie, pay-per-view bonanza guaranteed.