Liberals cower as deer rule

by Mouser The King Cat

There’s a crisis in Ashland, Oregon, an enclave of liberals on Interstate 5, just north of the California line.

Reports Brad Schmidt of The Oregonian, the newspaper in Portland:

“Boisterous bucks and disorderly does are reportedly picking fights with residents in this southern Oregon city of nearly 21,000, stalking the mayor, chasing a family down a sidewalk and – in the rarest of instances – stampeding a senior citizen in her carport.”

It seems the gentle hearts of Ashland and other small Oregon cities have long tolerated – even enjoyed – having Bambi and friends nibble at gardens and flower beds. In Bend, when beloved mule deer “Buck Norris” was killed by a car this summer, he got three minutes on the local TV news.

“Over the decades, people have not put the fear into the deer,” said Mark Vargas, a wildlife biologist for the state.

Now, in Ashland, the cocky deer want to know why hybrids with Bernie Sanders bumper stickers are being driven around THEIR city.

Of course, this is a crisis quickly solved, and it would be in 98% of U.S. communities. But rifles would be involved, and that wouldn’t do in the People’s Republic of Ashland. Deer fences are now permitted, and there has been a token attempt to stop people from feeding the mice with antlers.

From the city’s website:

“No matter how cute and seemingly domesticated, these are wild creatures. Their behaviors are unpredictable.”

That’s as opposed to liberals, whose behavior is all too predictable.