In Other News... God’s in a Pickle

by Meg Dare

When watching the news, I like to make note of what would make an amusing story for you, dear readers. It seems humans do stupid things worth writing about every day. I refuse to write much about Trump, he gets enough publicity and knows it. As you know, I love talking about Ted Cruz; but that horse needs to be left alone. Also, Joe Biden says he would have been the best President…oh, that one was tempting. I saw in the news yesterday that the first Muslim Mayor of London was appointed. But all of it looked too easy. So enough about politics, friends. 

 No instead, I found a case I know you’ll find interesting. It seems a Mr. David Soshan in Israel took an important case to court recently. He filed a restraining order against a very dear friend of mine…and some of yours, I bet. This Israeli fellow filed a protection order against God. Yep, we just get dumber and dumber, don’t we? Or more like crazier and crazier, so says this counselor and the judge who dismissed that case.  

He said he was tired of God meddling in his life and that for some time he felt like God was being rather cross with him.  Yes, the height of Hubris is never-ending it seems. Quick question: which of His names did they file it under: Alpha, Omega, Ancient of Days, Yahweh, etc.?

 

Now we’ve all felt like this man, I’m sure. The Heavenly Padre can be lovingly meddlesome.  Like when He tells you, “You should probably put down that beer, you’ve had enough.” Or in my case Ding Dongs. Or says, “Maybe you should just hold hands right now.” When you had plans for a home run.  Like a good Dad, He interferes a little. 

I bet God was stunned when he was sent the subpoena. Or maybe He never received it, you know our mail system. According to the court record, Jehovah pulled a no-show. That’s right. The authorities are in search of Him as we speak. It must be difficult to find an omnipotent dude. I think I know why God didn’t appear in court. He probably had a hard time finding a lawyer; most of them are chillin’ with His adversary.

I’ll post the likeness from the Police Sketch Artist below.

If you think you’ve seen Him, call 1-800-PPL-RCRZY.