Cable
TV networks fight over tenths of ratings points that everybody jokes could be
accounted for by pets stepping on remotes. I used to laugh, until …
It
happened to me. I was moving from my nap spot on the left side of the couch to
the right side when I accidentally stepped on the remote and –
Up
popped Judge Judy. OMG. What. A. Bitch.
There
she was, cutting off testimony in mid-sentence. Coming off as the biggest
hanging judge this side of Nancy Grace, a former prosecutor who at least
confines herself to HLN, a cable network nobody watches.
Judge
Judy has a huge following. Her show is the hottest property in over-the-air
syndication, bringing her a salary upwards of $45 million a year. That’s Rush
Limbaugh money, and when his contract ends, we’ll be calling it Judge Judy
money, because Rush will be in a lower pay grade.
Anyway,
I walked across the remote several more times and couldn’t get back to Animal
Planet. I did manage to mute her.
Research
tells us her viewers are 75% female. The males obviously were neutered at about
the same stage I was and now must suffer this harpy, interspersed with
commercials for the sleaziest ambulance-chasing lawyers in town. The total
effect made me hock up a furball.
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