High Expectations and Relationship Ennui

ROTW Contributor: Angela Durden

The Onion does it again - skewering the relationship ennui that has taken over the First World like a slow-motion tsunami. Weary boredom has replaced romantic zing. But, why?

Simple. Movies, books, commercials, and more all show happy-happy when couples are together. Further, they infer, it will always be like this. Even the troubles they experience can be overcome with some dramatic scene or a special piece of jewelry on a day mandated for gift giving. So, high expectations drilled into us make the reality even more of a slap in the face when we get near it.

And more and more are running from the drama. These days the only public relationship drama you’re gonna find is in an awesome country song video like this one. We’re just happy to watch the video, then sigh and say, “Whew, glad I’m avoiding that silly drama, but did you notice the lighting? Great job. Do I want a latte with soy or whole milk?”

Then there’s the whole cleaning up of the publicly awkward ending. Who’s got time for that anymore?

“As more and more Americans use social networking sites, these spaces can become the site of potential tension or awkwardness around relationships and dating. Some 27% of all social networking site users have unfriended or blocked someone who was flirting in a way that made them feel uncomfortable, and 22% have unfriended or blocked someone that they were once in a relationship with. These sites can also serve as a lingering reminder of relationships that have ended—17% of social networking site users have untagged or deleted photos on these sites of themselves and someone they used to be in a relationship with.”

Expectations and ennui. Great for alliteration and prenups. Not so great for happily ever after. But, hey, you know you need a good book to read. So why not choose a few of mine that I wrote? Here’s My Own Personal Bookshelf.