Updated: No, Virginia, Transgender Tampons Are Not For Real

by Kim D.

Evidently, no - transgender tampons are not real. At least they aren't right now. Googling Sappho-Luxe only leads to what I know now is a fake news site - United Media Publishing. 

So, this is a hoax and it did provide me some laughs when originally writing the blog this morning, but since being clued in on the joke, now I'm wondering when bleeding tampons will hit the market. 

First Tampon For Transgender Women To Hit Shelves Next Month #Fem-Flo http://t.co/1SXZkAcORx pic.twitter.com/l4xd5UOmlX

— Trending Television (@TVolizer) July 8, 2015

At first I thought this was a joke, but, sadly no; transgender tampons are real and will be hitting grocery store shelves next month. Call me a bigot or a transgenderphobe - whatever; I don't care, but no sane person would want to simulate a woman's menstrual cycle, especially one that only provides fake bleeding and not the "real" experience. Where are the cramps, the headaches, the hormonal flux that women with a uterus experience?

According to Sappho-Luxe, the California-based company that has created the first transgender tampon,

The product comes in 3 designs. “Fem-Flo Petite” is for the trans-woman who is still working to achieve maximum dilation, yet still wants to produce menses. “Fem-Flo Intermediate” provides dilation and an average amount of menstruation. And last, but not least, the “Fem-Flo Lush” for the trans-woman who wishes to enjoy “heavy” menstruation.“Our product is designed to give post-op trans-gender women the full-spectrum experience of menstruation. You don’t have to be deprived of the beautiful and womanly occurrence of menstruation merely because you were born without uterus. The Fem-Flo’s cotton core contains a small, vegetable-based capsule which upon reaching body temperature releases the “menses” contained within. It also aids in keeping the post-op canal conditioned and dilated after surgery and beyond.

Transgender people need to wake up. First of all, having a menstrual cycle is at the bottom of the list of all things considered a beautiful, womanly occurrence. Also, consider for a moment the cost of this product which reportedly will be around $20 for a box of 25 tampons. I was just at Walgreens and checked. I can purchase a box of 36 for around $8. Do small capsules of red-colored vegetable-based dye really cost that much? 

One final question -  how long will take for the social justice warriors to demand this product be given to transgendered women for free? Apparently, not long at all. According to Antonio Buehler, who self-proclaims as "America's most important liberal activist," 

If you ask me, the tampons should be provided to trans people free of charge, and the costs ought to be covered by the cis gendered women who buy their regular products, the white ones especially. 

For those who dare to read more (and if you are done with this topic this is a firm warning to stop here), Buehler goes on to describe his/her testing of the transgender tampon:

I reached out to Sappho-Luxe to see if I could get a box of FEM-FLO tampons to try, as they are not going to be on store shelves until next month. They did indeed send me one, and I rushed straight to the nearest gender neutral restroom I could find to try them out. Being pre-op, and thus lacking an inverted penis vagina myself (please donate!), I put one up my anus instead.

It was nothing short of luxurious. Within 15 minutes it was like my asshole was really bleeding! I got so emotional, I had to take a Midol!